15 Effective Ways to Catch a Cheating Spouse in Singapore
Written by Jackson Teoh, Managing Director
3 Minute ReadJuly 22, 2022
It started from the long hours spent at work, followed by frequent late-night messages. The seed of doubt is growing in your heart. You try to convince yourself that you’re thinking too much, and yet, that is all you can think about – is your spouse cheating on you? As this thought consumes you, affecting you mentally and emotionally, you know you have to take action to uncover the truth. Even if the truth could be hard to swallow.
Before you decide to confront your spouse to obtain a straight answer, stop. Think about it: if your spouse did cheat on you, it would be easy for them to deny it when you have no concrete evidence. This would only make them more careful in the future to avoid getting caught by you. If they didn’t commit infidelity, your accusations would jeopardise your relationship with your spouse. Therefore, it is critical for you to stay calm and consider the 15 effective ways to catch a cheating spouse in Singapore below so that you can gather sufficient, irrefutable evidence to confirm your spouse’s adultery, should you wish to file for divorce eventually.
Monitor your spouse’s daily routine
You may have noticed your spouse returning late from work more often than usual. While you may be given many seemingly legitimate reasons for such late nights, from client meetings to new project discussions, make it a point to take note of such days, so you may have an opportunity to verify if they did what they said they did on that day, especially when you meet their friends or colleagues.
Also, they may have established a habitual routine to meet up with the third party, so being aware of the specific days they tend to return late may provide more opportunities to catch them in action. You will also be able to gauge the current stage of their relationship, especially if the frequency increases.
Observe and record abnormalities
It is probably your spouse’s abnormal behaviour that sparked your suspicion in the first place. Make a record of these changes in behaviour, from putting more effort into their appearance and dressing to their heightened sensitivity and restlessness, especially when it seems like they are eager to find a chance to get away, or simply their avoidance of intimacy with you, be it physically or emotionally. By recording these changes, you may be able to identify the beginning of their infidelity and watch their behaviour evolve over time.
Note that while such changes are usually tell-tale signs of your spouse’s infidelity, each cheating spouse may behave differently. For instance, some may not avoid any physical intimacy with you, even if they were cheating with someone else. Even if such observations may not be entirely conclusive, you could still derive useful information from the details of their abnormalities, for example, if they put in more effort to dress up as they head off to work, it could signal that there is another person they are trying to impress at their workplace.
Inspect your spouse’s personal belongings
You may be concerned with invading your spouse’s privacy when you go through their personal belongings, but as long as these items are within the house you own or co-own with your spouse, it is not illegal to do so. Items like condoms, small gifts that did not end up in your hands, extra computing or mobile devices that you were unaware of, as well as receipts with clear timestamps and shop locations, which are incredibly useful in checking your spouse’s whereabouts, are likely to become incriminating evidence of their extra-marital affair.
Scour through the rubbish bins if you have to or check the pockets in their clothing, particularly for the receipts, since it’s unlikely that these are just lying around waiting for you to discover. Simply take a picture of the receipts or objects you’ve found and return them to where you’ve found them, so as not to be detected by your spouse.
Scan the laundry
Before washing the laundry, take a good look at your spouse’s clothing and check for any unfamiliar scent of a perfume or cologne, stains on the clothing as well as possible strands of hair stuck on them that are neither the length of your hair nor your spouse’s. This may provide a good indication of who they are in close proximity.
Give your spouse’s computing device a once-over
Find an opportunity to access your spouse’s computer and check their storage drives as well as emails to see if there are any clues to an illicit affair, such as intimate photos or email correspondence. Chances are, your spouse would have locked any incriminating evidence up in a folder within the computer or deleted them. Nevertheless, you could still check the recycle bin in the computer for any possibility that these files were not deleted permanently from the computer. Even if they did, you might still be able to find ways to restore these deleted files, for example, through their cloud storage.
Be sure to obtain access to the computer with the approval of your spouse, as any illegal attempt to hack into your spouse’s computer may be a criminal offence and the documents cannot be used as court evidence.
Examine your spouse’s mobile device(s)
Similar to your spouse’s computing device, you will need approval to legally access their mobile device(s). If your spouse was previously open with you accessing their mobile device(s), but recently made it password-protected to prevent you from accessing it without their knowledge, it is likely because they have something to hide from you.
If you manage to find an excuse to use their mobile device, you can access their text messages and call logs to see who they are in frequent contact with. This can come in the form of lengthy or repeated calls from the same number. If it’s an ongoing affair, such correspondence may be difficult to remove completely. Be sure to take a picture of their call logs and text messages for further investigation.
Monitor your spouse’s social media interactions
The advent of social media has opened up new channels for people to get to know one another. Observe if your spouse is sharing updates on social media more frequently and see if these updates include you and the family. If they don’t, it’s an inkling that they are trying to avoid portraying themselves as married.
You can also check their followers and the people they are following, as well as those who have been showing an interest in their posts through likes and comments. Check and see if such interest is reciprocated by your spouse as you go through the posts in these people’s accounts. Anyone who seems to appear frequently in places where your spouse was at may just be the third party to your marriage.
Scrutinise your spouse’s spending
Whether cash withdrawals or credit card statements, take a closer look at your spouse’s expenditure, especially if you hold a joint account with them. Look out for transactions at places you may be unfamiliar with, especially restaurants and hotels. Take note of repeated visits, particularly to locations out of their usual route, as the third party may reside in the district.
Check on your spouse’s whereabouts sporadically
The key is to ask your spouse where they are heading to or where they are at casually, without appearing as though you’re checking on them. While it is crucial not to make them feel that you’re suspicious of them, it may also be odd if you don’t at least ask where they are going. With their answer, you may be able to use it to corroborate with other evidence you may find in their possession, such as receipts and even the distance they have clocked in their vehicle.
Also, by openly finding out where they are, you can also ask related questions on the location or request for them to purchase a specific product from the location for you. For example, if they said they were going to head back to the office for a meeting, you could request for them to bring back the iced coffee you love from the cafeteria near their office. Such a request may shorten the time they are spending with the third party and it may help to locate them for surveillance as well.
Suss out your spouse’s colleagues and friends
Find a chance to meet your spouse’s colleagues and friends and sound them out on your spouse’s behaviour, whether at or outside of work. You can use this opportunity to check if your spouse was indeed busy at work with a new project or out with their friends on the days they claimed to be. Even as they might attempt to cover for your spouse, you might still be able to spot gaps and discomfort in their statements, especially if they were caught off guard by you and were unprepared to lie for your spouse.
Make spontaneous visits to your spouse’s workplace
Surprise your spouse at their workplace, either for lunch or a teatime snack, and observe their interactions with their colleagues. If your spouse appears flustered to see you there and tries to get you to leave as soon as possible, it’s highly likely that there’s someone they don’t want you to meet in the office.
Even if the third party might not be from the workplace, you could use this opportunity to get to know their colleagues and learn more about their work routine to see if it matches with the time they usually return home. Also, upon establishing your spousal status, these colleagues may become your informant, should they discover your spouse’s possible infidelity.
Set up a hidden camera at home
Should you suspect your spouse to be bringing someone home while you’re away, you can consider setting up a hidden camera in your bedroom, living room as well as the doorway, so that you may be able to catch your cheating spouse in action. Possible areas to install these hidden cameras include lampshades, clocks or bulky household items like air conditioners or air purifiers. You simply need to connect these cameras to your smartphone and you will be able to spy on and even record your spouse’s affair. However, ensure that the cameras are only filming your home compound and not public spaces.
Install GPS in your spouse’s vehicle
If you share the ownership of the vehicle with your spouse, you can try installing a GPS to track their whereabouts. Otherwise, you can also access the dashcam in the vehicle for the same purpose. With these tracking devices, you will be able to tell if your spouse is really at the place they claim to be. In addition, tracking their mileage and the frequency of their petrol refills may provide a good indication as to whether they have been going out of their way to meet someone else.
Draw up a timeline of suspicious events
As you are collecting evidence and recording observations of your spouse’s potential infidelity, it is useful to draw up a timeline of these suspicious activities, so that it can help to establish when the affair started and how long it’s been going on. Such information can be vital, should you wish to file for divorce and request monetary compensation.
Hire a professional Private Investigator
With all the circumstantial evidence you have gathered, you may wish to hire professional help to carry the case through and find definitive evidence to incriminate your spouse. A licensed Private Investigator is trained to conduct investigation and surveillance legally so that the evidence collected can also be used in court, should the need arise. We are also well-equipped with the latest recording and surveillance technologies to provide a comprehensive report for your reference at the end of the investigation.
We know that catching a cheating spouse is not only physically draining, but also taxing emotionally and mentally. That’s why we are here to help. We allow you to take a step back and let us take over with the surveillance, especially for the times when you may get overwhelmed by the feelings of betrayal to remain nonchalant. We also provide an objective perspective to advise you on how we can proceed to conduct our investigation and gather the evidence legally, such that the evidence is sufficient and admissible in court so that you can get to the bottom of the matter for peace of mind.
Read our guides and articles to equip yourself in matters of catching a cheating spouse in Singapore.